I’m often asked the question, “What does a normal day, or week, look like for you?” I think people ask this question because of my job. It’s kind of a weird job to have. But this question is a really difficult question for me to answer, so lately I’ve tried to pay a bit more attention to the patterns of my life. The truth is, there are no patterns. None. Not only because I have a different kind of job, but because the roles I play in life are so different from each other sometimes that the idea of consistency seems ridiculous. Let’s be honest: The life I have chosen often looks out of place compared to the status quo. I have chosen a life of inconsistency.
Let’s take a look at the chaos of my life. I run a ministry that serves women and men who are affected by the commercial sex industry. I am an auntie to three small children, a sister, a daughter, and a friend. I am a follower of Jesus, which means spending time making disciples, studying the word, serving in my church, and hanging out with my Maker. I am at war with an enemy who would love nothing more than to destroy me, so I often spend time fighting the lies he feeds to me. I also like to sleep–but who has time for that?
This week, I have been deceived, cared for, cheated, attacked, pursued, dissed, encouraged, discouraged, broken, then made whole, and then broken again. At moments, I have chosen joy, anger, despair, excitement, expectation, stress, and hope. There are times where people have NEEDED me for 911 emergencies, and then times of silence. (Thank you Jesus for the silence.) I’ve sat with my dad while he was in the hospital, had lunch with a woman working in the sex industry, hung out with new and very enjoyable friends, held and prayed over babies, helped rescue a cat with its head stuck in a jar, attempted to lead my team well, prayed with people, and cuddled my sweet nieces and nephew. Tonight, I will go hang out in strip clubs and share the love of Jesus with women, and then go see “Catching Fire” with my life group. Life is busy.
My schedule is inconsistent. My emotions are inconsistent. My relationships are inconsistent. My faith, unfortunately, is inconsistent.
Why am I sharing the drama of my week with you? To point out the one constant. Jesus.
Cliché, I know. I just can’t get over Him, though. This week is not an abnormal week for me. A little more dramatic than most, but really–overall–not that out of the ordinary. When I look back over the week, God has been faithful to meet me where I’m at. He’s offered correction, grace, comfort, wisdom and strength. He has shown up and will continue to show up. I am always surprised, and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I’m distracted by the drama, or maybe it’s because I am still working out my salvation before Him with fear and trembling. I think the biggest reason I am shocked by His faithfulness is because somewhere along the line I started believing that His consistency was based on the consistency of my circumstances, my emotions, or even my righteousness. Regardless of the reason for my surprise, God is faithful to heal me from my past, meet me where I am, and lead me into the pretty amazing things He has for my future. His faithfulness has never been based on me. God is just faithful. He just is, because He is that good. I don’t understand why or how. I’m not supposed to. I’m just supposed to cling to the promise of who He is and what He has.
So if you are like me, living in the chaos, PLEASE be encouraged. God is with you; He is for you. He is present and active. HE LOVES YOU! I know. I’m living in the chaos with you and He is proving himself constant and good. So together, let’s cling to this verse.
“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” – Hebrews 10:23
What about you? How has your week been? I would love to pray for you, so fill me in!