I’m not that girl … yet

First take a time out and watch this video.

A: I love Shane and Shane

B: I love John Piper

The truth is there are some days I live and breath the truth in this video. I deeply desire to be the person that this video describes. Then there are some days that I get so frustrated I ignore that fact that God is calling me to be this person. So in reality I am not the girl in the video… yet.

I have this deep aching desire within me to see the church awakened, and for people to know who God is and walk fully in the callings He has for us.I dream of seeing an army of people rise up. An army of people who fight for redemption. An army of people who live and love selflessly.

Lately though I’ve been talking to lots of people and experiencing a lot of confrontation when it comes to the topics of unity and spiritual growth. We talk about comfort, and safety, and jobs, and financial security, and how boring or not boring the bible is, and who is fun, and who is not, and how others can help make us better, and a million other things, I really don’t care about. It frustrates me. It makes me want to quit, pack my bags and go somewhere new. It frustrates me because I think I’m right. It frustrates me because I know God wants more, and I think I have the answers to fix the world. It frustrates me because I’m impatient. It frustrates me because I see little or no hope in the people I’m talking to. It frustrates me because people are wasting great opportunities. I mean it is my job to make sure they don’t miss out on God. Right?

That video is describing a person with the exact opposite attitude. The person in this video doesn’t quit. The person in the video endures adversity, and is humble, and trust that God will finish the good work he starts in us. The person in the video can see that everyone is made in the image of a holy God. If I were the person in this video I would get over myself and grow up.(this is the very thing I often want to say to others.)

So normally after a realization like this, I beat myself up, try harder, burn myself out, my circumstances get hard, I stop caring, and then again another revelation and the process starts over again.

Lame. I know. But I have had an AhhHa moment. What if I would let go, trust God to finish the good work He started in me, and pursue holiness and the one who creates it? I think then maybe I might be the girl in the video all the time. Not just on the days full of hope and promise. Not just on the days where I feel like justice is an urgent matter. Not just on the days where I see great need. EVERYDAY!

I’m confident that I will get over myself and grow up. I am confident that others will to0. I’m confident that God will raise up a mighty army that loves and lives selflessly. I am confident that the person described in the video is real, and that there will be more serving the kingdom in the future. I am confident I will be that person more and more each day.

So I am not the girl in the video yet. I will be.  What about you? Do you desire to be that person or am I crazy? Do you ever feel alone in your calling? What do you do when you want to give up? What are you confident in? Fill me in.

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