In The Garden: Sit With Me

Here is a little #throwback for Easter, friends! Here is to revisiting old lessons and letting them take deeper roots. Original post written in the fall of 2011.

In my last post, I shared about Jesus in the garden right before His crucifixion. I talked about how Jesus asked Peter, John, and James to enter into his deepest hurt with Him. I want to take another look at that very same verse again, and dig a little deeper because I know there is a deeper calling for us, and a powerful confession of love to us, in this passage.

“And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee and began to be grieved and distressed. Then He said to them, ‘My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.’”

Matthew 26:37

As I read that scripture, I hear the Lord whisper, “Mindy, come and sit with me in the garden.”

Uhmmmmm wow.

This blows my mind. Here is why.

Jesus is asking US to come and sit in His deepest hurts with Him. God is asking us to experience the hurt that He feels while He is feeling it. He wants to break our hearts for what breaks His. That sounds horribly mean. The reality though is when we are hurt, or angry, or even just inconvenienced, we are motivated. Motivated to act, bring change, sacrifice, or care about something more than ourselves. I don’t know about you but it takes a lot to move me. Something really has to bother me for me to act.

For instance, here is my driver’s side window. It’s been broken for 3 1/2 months. I covered it with packing tape. It’s sufficient for getting me from one place to another.

It bothers other people a lot. Not really me though. I grew up in the middle of a chaotic large family that threw stuff a lot. It takes a lot more to get my attention than a broken window. Because of that, I haven’t done anything to fix it. I probably won’t until warm weather comes, and I want to drive with the windows down.

The same goes with the broken world we live in. It takes a lot for me to be motivated to bring restoration. We are called to bring restoration here and now to this broken world. Only when God moves my heart to a place where I hurt about how torn apart this world is, do I actually even care. Only when I sit with Him in deep hurt about human trafficking, do I actually act. Only when I grieve the brokenness of the Church with Him, do I strive to love her well. Do you see the pattern. Only when God… Do I…

He does this out of love for us. I know that it seems almost manipulative. He is trying to force us to do something. Anything. He only moves my heart to get His way. That’s not the truth though.

Later on in this passage, Jesus says to Peter, James, and John, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Behold, the hour is at hand and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners.”

I think He is saying, “Guys! Are you still asleep? You are missing out on something great. Something amazing. A once in a lifetime opportunity to sit with me, know me, and change the world. Not just the world but eternity. It is almost time. WAKE UP. Please don’t miss what I have for you!”

He loves us so much that He doesn’t want us to miss out on something that will change someone’s eternity. Something that will change our eternity. It is so hard for me to believe that God, the creator of the universe, the maker of all things, loves me enough to want to be so intimate with me that He brings me into His deepest hurt. But He does. He really does. I know the people that I let into that intimate place with me, are people I love, people I trust, and people who will follow me into the dark. (Yes, I tried to sneak in a death cab reference.)

I believe that this is true about God. If He is calling you to sit with Him in hurt, He is also saying, “I trust you, I want you, follow me. Oh and, by the way, I FREAKING LOVE YOU.” So ask Him to take you to that intimate place. Ask Him to prepare you for the hurt and the obstacles on the road ahead. Ask Him to help you celebrate the good and the bad. Most importantly, just say “I’m in, Jesus. I’m here in the garden with you. I’m awake and sitting close. Have your way.”

Why do we willingly enter into the garden with Jesus? Because when we allow our hearts to be moved by God, we find the things we were truly made to do and the wars we were purposed to fight. We stop living mediocre lives, and we stop fighting those who are meant to be our allies. Sitting in the garden with Jesus is the doorway to the abundant lives we’ve dreamed of and the first step to living out our purpose.

What about you? What has God broken your heart for? Do you believe that He loves you enough to sit with you in hurt? Why or Why not?

In Reckless Pursuit,

Mindy

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In The Garden: Open The Gate

Oh hey friends! In honor of Easter I thought I would post a little throw back! This series of posts were originally written five years ago but still resonate with me so deeply especially through the week leading up to the resurrection of Christ. They have been updated a bit because I reserve the right to change my mind and grow. I hope they encourage you as much as it challenged me to write them!

About two months ago (fall of 2011), I started going to this Bible study on Monday nights. I like it. Actually I kind of love it. We read through scriptures together every week and discuss them. One of the chapters we have read through is Matthew 26 where Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane. As we read through the passage, I felt like I found a thousand new golden nuggets that I have never found before. One of these has been pretty life changing.

“And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee and began to be grieved and distressed. Then He said to them, ‘My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.’”

Matthew 26:37

The thing I have always loved about the story of Jesus in the garden is how human I realize Jesus really is. I am convinced it is His most human moment in all of the gospels. So what does Jesus do in His most human moment? He asked for COMMUNITY! He asked Peter, John, and James to sit in the middle of His deepest hurt with Him. Yup. He asked for help.

Let’s look at this moment. Jesus says straight up, His soul is grieved to the point of death. Death. DEATH. A place where there is no joy, no peace, no comfort. He is hurting and asking His most intimate friends to sit with Him in that hurt. Jesus was willing to be vulnerable in His greatest moment of need to live in community. Not only to love, but to be loved.

I never want to do this. I never want to let someone into my deep hurt or disappointment. I want to be strong, do it alone, and not risk being vulnerable. I want to carry my own burden. Like I’ve said before I am emotionally awkward. Exposing that is dangerous. I mean what would my friends do if they saw the reality of how dramatic, needy, insecure, and just plain weird I am. The truth is they probably see those things. But seriously. People can’t know I hurt or I am broken or even WANT them with me in the middle of my deep hurt. I mean if they knew, they would have power over me. I can’t have that.

You see. My deepest fear is that I will admit that I want someone to be that intimately connected to me and then they will reject me. I am afraid that when they see how terribly messed up I am, I will be TOO MUCH, and they will turn and walk away.

So as I read through this passage again I felt God say to me, “Mindy, open the freaking gate. Let people into the garden with you. Some will leave, and I will love you. Some will stay, and I will love you. Just let people in. It’s what you were made to do.”

So as a community of people who live on the same planet, I ask that you will hold me accountable. That you will challenge me to open the gate, share my story, love well, and BE LOVED.

What about you? Any troubles with letting people in? Is love easy for you to receive? Let’s talk about it.

You can also check out my last two posts in this series here and here!

In Reckless Pursuit,

Mindy

To win a war…

I wrote a blog today about my response to Charleston and how God responded to me. 
Disclaimer: I wrote this blog in like 15 minutes and did not proofread it. This is not how I intended to enter back into the blogging world but what God spoke to me is heavy on my heart. So I ask for tons of grace with the grammar and content of this blog

I’ve been sitting and praying about what happened to our brothers and sisters in Charleston. Feeling broken hearted and almost useless.

You see I know the answer to the problem. It’s obvious that the answer is Jesus and the church in our love for Jesus and His people intervening in days like this where there is so much oppression. Racial oppression, oppression in the LGBT community, oppression over women, actual slavery. These things are real and the problem is massive. It is impossible to overcome.

This morning I caught myself sitting in how impossible this situation is. Sitting in the knowledge of how small I am and how enormous the brokenness of our world is feeling almost tortured by having the answer to the problem and feeling like I can’t do anything with the solution.

So I asked God, actually confronted Him about what He would like me to do. I expressed to Him how massive the darkness feels, how apathetic the church appears to be, and how useless I feel in actually being able to bring change to something so consuming.

Then He whispered to me in grace and kindness as He often does, “This. Do this. Wrestle with me. Bring this heartache to me. It comes from me. You are right. I am the answer so give me the problem. Battle here with me. (Just a little clarification not against Him but with Him.) You will get the strategy you want when you fight in prayer for these things. Baby girl to get the answers you’ve got to fight in the war.”

So to those who feel oppressed I am sorry I’m not always willing to spend what is required to give you a voice. I am sorry I choose my comfort over your freedom. I’m so sorry. I’m trying to seek God and learn how to love you well from Him. He is fighting for you freedom and I am going to choose to fight with Him.

There you have it. If we want to see change, we have to fight in the war. The not so glamorous part of that is most of the war is fought in prayer and then followed through with action. The awesome part is that it is fought in the presence of a kind and gracious God who will give us all we need to overcome if we will just wrestle with Him a bit.

 

So who’s in?

 

Passing Through Saturday

I thought today was an appropriate day to share some truth God has revealed to me about the Saturday between Good Friday, and Easter. I hope you enjoy it!

 

 

You can check out my post about Good Friday here! I hope this encouraged you and challenged you! Happy Easter!

In reckless pursuit,

Mindy

It’s Good Friday Ya’ll

Good Friday.

Words really can’t express what’s going on in my heart today.  Joy, gratefulness, sadness, hope–those are kind of obvious.  Today, though, I feel this weight, too.  A weight I can’t explain quite yet.  But I’ll try.

Good Friday was the day when Jesus was mocked, mistreated, and  murdered.  He was beaten, abused, spat on, and abandoned by most of His friends.  This is the day when all of our shame was put on Jesus.

The reason this day bears so much weight is because it’s the day when a lot of us can relate to Jesus.  Often times we separate ourselves from Him because He is a lot of things we are not.  He is victorious, He is Holy, He is above all things, He is fully God, and He is fully man.  He is different than us.  I want to be clear that I believe we have victory in all things, and that we are called to be holy.  Jesus is always those things, though, and we get those things because of the sacrifice He made on this day.  The difference is He is those things, and we receive those things.

Because of that difference, I think we can sometimes find Jesus unrelatable, distant from our circumstances, or unsympathetic.  The truth is most of us have been mistreated, disregarded, and abandoned by someone we love in a deep time of need.  A lot of us have been abused, whether it be physically, emotionally, sexually, or mentally.  Too many of us have felt the same shame, brokeness, and loss that Jesus felt on this day.  If there is no other day in all of eternity when we can relate to what Jesus felt, I believe today we can.  Today, we sit in very similar places.

This truth, however, is no coincidence in the events of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection.  He died this kind of death on purpose.  He wants to relate to us, He wants to be close to us, and He wants to make us whole.  Jesus has been tempted in every way possible, so He can sympathize with us (Hebrews 4:15).  He understands our struggle, our hurt, and our deepest pain.  He lived it, and because He lived it, He can comfort us.

So my challenge for all of us is this.  Today, as we remember the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross, let’s remember our own hurt, shame, and fear.  Don’t rush past it.  Don’t ignore it.  Don’t forget that it happened.  It matters.  And it matters for a lot of reasons.  Today, though we need to remember our hurt so we can acknowledge that we have such a loving savior–one who would experience this hurt and shame just to get close to us.  Just to relate to us.  The sacrifice He made, and His death, is enough to move my heart to follow Him.  He died a painful death to save me from hell.  Yeah.  That is a big deal.  But the knowledge of the way He died–just to comfort me, just to sit in the circumstances I have sat in–that’s a big deal, too.  He did it not just to save me, but to be close to me.  Not only is He close to me, but because He undersands my broken places, He knows how to make them whole.  That was the whole point of this day.  To be close enough to me to make me whole.

Well, I really just don’t have words to explain what that does to me.

But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.

-Isaiah 53:5 ESV-

I am made whole because He is close, and because of that, I will keep living in reckless pursuit of my Holy and Intimate God.

I also wrote a few posts a long time ago on Jesus in the garden and what it taught me. You can check them out here.

Building a Boat in the Desert.

In Genesis chapters 6-9 of the Bible, you can find the story of Noah.  It’s a beautiful children’s story that we share in Sunday School.  God is so over humanity’s straight-up disobedience and evil lifestyles that He chooses to remove all of mankind from the world–with the exception of Noah and his family, of course.  This is a brilliant children’s story.  I love explaining corruption, judgement, and obedience to my nieces who ask a thousand questions about everything.  I totally see why we share this story with kids.

When my pastor announced that the church was going to go through a series based on the story of Noah, I was a little hesitant.  Honestly, that’s because it’s always told as a children’s story–even to adults.  I’ve studied the story on my own before, and I always feel like pastors sell it short.  Then something happened.  My pastors have shared this story with new life, relevance, and understanding.  The result: It is kind of changing my life and leading me into obedience.  Hurray!

In the video below, you will find my take-away from the series so far.  (We are heading into week three.)  Just a heads-up to all my NightLight Branson team members: This is our challenge for the year, so get ready!

Want to watch or listen to the Noah series? You can do so here.

So here is the bottom line. You may feel crazy, alone, discouraged, and tired. That is ok. A lot of people feel that way. Noah felt that way. I feel that way sometimes. God is with us, He is for us, and He is preparing something great for us. He is going to use our stories to build the church. What an amazing thing we get to be part of.

Have you ever been challenged by a children’s bible story?  What was it?  Which story do you wish kids would stop hearing in children’s chapel?  Come on.  Tell me how you really feel.

A Week in the Life of… Me

I’m often asked the question, “What does a normal day, or week, look like for you?”  I think people ask this question because of my job.  It’s kind of a weird job to have.  But this question is a really difficult question for me to answer, so lately I’ve tried to pay a bit more attention to the patterns of my life.  The truth is, there are no patterns.  None. Not only because I have a different kind of job, but because the roles I play in life are so different from each other sometimes that the idea of consistency seems ridiculous.  Let’s be honest:  The life I have chosen often looks out of place compared to the status quo.  I have chosen a life of inconsistency.

Let’s take a look at the chaos of my life.  I run a ministry that serves women and men who are affected by the commercial sex industry.  I am an auntie to three small children, a sister, a daughter, and a friend.  I am a follower of Jesus, which means spending time making disciples, studying the word, serving in my church, and hanging out with my Maker.  I am at war with an enemy who would love nothing more than to destroy me, so I often spend time fighting the lies he feeds to me.  I also like to sleep–but who has time for that?

This week, I have been deceived, cared for, cheated, attacked, pursued, dissed, encouraged, discouraged, broken, then made whole, and then broken again.  At moments, I have chosen joy, anger, despair, excitement, expectation, stress, and hope.  There are times where people have NEEDED me for 911 emergencies, and then times of silence.  (Thank you Jesus for the silence.)  I’ve sat with my dad while he was in the hospital, had lunch with a woman working in the sex industry, hung out with new and very enjoyable friends, held and prayed over babies, helped rescue a cat with its head stuck in a jar, attempted to lead my team well, prayed with people, and cuddled my sweet nieces and nephew.  Tonight, I will go hang out in strip clubs and share the love of Jesus with women, and then go see “Catching Fire” with my life group.  Life is busy.

My schedule is inconsistent. My emotions are inconsistent. My relationships are inconsistent. My faith, unfortunately, is inconsistent.

Why am I sharing the drama of my week with you?  To point out the one constant.  Jesus.

Cliché, I know.  I just can’t get over Him, though.  This week is not an abnormal week for me.  A little more dramatic than most, but really–overall–not that out of the ordinary.  When I look back over the week, God has been faithful to meet me where I’m at.  He’s offered correction, grace, comfort, wisdom and strength.  He has shown up and will continue to show up.  I am always surprised, and I don’t know why.  Maybe it’s because I’m distracted by the drama, or maybe it’s because I am still working out my salvation before Him with fear and trembling. I think the biggest reason I am shocked by His faithfulness is because somewhere along the line I started believing that His consistency was based on the consistency of my circumstances, my emotions, or even my righteousness.  Regardless of the reason for my surprise, God is faithful to heal me from my past, meet me where I am, and lead me into the pretty amazing things He has for my future.  His faithfulness has never been based on me.  God is just faithful.  He just is, because He is that good.  I don’t understand why or how.  I’m not supposed to.  I’m just supposed to cling to the promise of who He is and what He has.

So if you are like me, living in the chaos, PLEASE be encouraged.  God is with you; He is for you.  He is present and active.  HE LOVES YOU!  I know.  I’m living in the chaos with you and He is proving himself constant and good.  So together, let’s cling to this verse.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” – Hebrews 10:23

What about you?  How has your week been?  I would love to pray for you, so fill me in!

This Is Why I’m Still Single.com: The Stakes Are High

Finally, we have arrived at the pinnacle of everyone’s favorite question to ask: “Why are you still single?”  This is the very last and most important reason…at least in my opinion.

It’s no secret.  I have every intention of changing the world.  I know without a doubt that I will fiercely bring heaven to earth, and do it loudly and (hopefully) as gently as Jesus did.  For the last ten years of my life, this has been the goal, the path that I have followed.  So what does this have to do with dating?

It turns out that it’s pretty difficult to find a guy who is not intimidated by me and who wants to bring change to this broken world as badly as I do.  If this sounds arrogant, I don’t mean for it to.  It’s just what has seemed to be true.  The life that I have chosen costs a lot.  It costs you everything, all for the sake of bringing glory to God and knowing Jesus more.  Most “really nice Christian boys” don’t want to pay the price, and therefore are heading in a different direction than me.

I’ve thought about dating really dreamy boys who aren’t quite “there” yet.  I’ve been told they will grow into it; just give them a chance.  BUT WHAT IF THEY DON’T?  There is too much at risk in the kingdom for me to slow down and wait for that really nice (and dreamy) Christian guy to grow into his calling.  Maybe he will.  I pray he does.  But the stakes are too high for me to take a chance on that guy.  I know that whoever I marry must be choosing Jesus above everything else.  The world is broken and in need of great healing.  We can settle for nothing less then bringing everything we have to the table. This includes my marital status.  If my call is to help my husband, fulfill his vision and calling, he better have a vision to radically change the world, or I won’t be able to get behind his vision.

Honestly, because of the road I’ve chosen, I never thought I would get married.  Then, one day, God pointed this verse out to me.

Then one of the young men said, “Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite who is a skillful musician, a mighty man of valor, a warrior, one prudent in speech, and a handsome man; and the Lord is with him.” – 1st Samuel 16:18

The Lord spoke to me about this being the kind of man that I would marry.  Out of nowhere.  This is a thought that would have never crossed my mind, and that’s why I know it was the Lord.  I don’t know if “the guy” will be musical, and I can only hope that he is a handsome man, but I do know that David was the kind of guy that faced a giant as a teenager.  He believed so much in the true character of God that he was willing to go anywhere and face anything.

I really appreciate that David faced giants, because any guy who chooses to pursue me is facing a giant.  I really am kind of intimidating.  So much so that it is a joke between close friends.  They know they don’t have to worry about me ending up with someone boring, because the boring ones have  been scared away within minutes of meeting me.  (Again, I don’t want this to sound arrogant.  I just mean that I’m loud, opinionated, pretty fearless, and I have a kind of an intimidating Job.  I mean come on…my anthem is “Roar” by Katy Perry.  It was even before the song existed.)  More importantly than facing me, though, my future husband must be willing to face the unknown.  Someone with David-like qualities, who is willing to trust God in any situation and follow His call anywhere because God made us to restore His kingdom. T hat’s a train I could get on.  It’s the kind of grand vision I could get behind.

So…ThisIsWhyI’mStillSingle.com.  I have kingdom things to do.  Until I find someone I can do them with, I will spend all my extra time doing adventurous, scary, unknown, kingdom things with my beautiful friends and community.

Did I miss anything in this series of posts?  Have more questions about my singleness?  Comments?  Concerns?  Chime in! That’s what community is all about!

This Is Why I’m Still Single.com: Are You Afraid of the Dark?

A few weeks ago, I started a blog series on the topic of my singleness.  It really is a popular discussion topic.  Some want to know if I’m still single by choice.  Some want to know if I’m still single because I have some weird religious views, or possibly a personality disorder.  I mean, who really chooses to stay single?  I must be broken.  And even some want to know when my last date was. ( 3 years ago. Really 3 Years.)

Today, I am sharing a really dysfunctional reason why I have chosen singleness: I’m still waiting on Gavin Degraw to notice my existence and propose to me.

Just kidding.  Sort of.

The truth is, I’m terrified of lots of things when it comes to marriage.  I know what you’re thinking.  You think I’m terrified of sex.  Nope.  You’re wrong.  I’m actually pretty excited about that aspect of marriage.  Yes…I am a Christian, I am single, and I did say I am looking forward to sex.  If you are a supporter reading this, please don’t stop paying my bills.  Please and thank you.

I am terrified of being vulnerable with people in general, let alone a spouse.  I am afraid I will lose my independence and have to be the helper to a man who plays life safe.  I’m scared of losing my own awesome calling.  Mostly, I’m afraid of being abandoned.  I am afraid of marriage because it is unknown.  It seems like wandering into the dark without a flashlight.  That is a terrible idea.

I can’t even believe I just admitted all of those things out loud, but they are all true.  You see, when I was a kid, I had a really passive, mostly non-present father; a disabled mother; and a very Jerry-Springer-like family.  From an early age, I learned to disconnect from most emotion, take care of myself, expect everyone to leave, and expect for no one to want me.  This, along with ambition and Jesus giving me the ability to dream big dreams, has created this perfect storm where most days I prefer singleness.  Do I get lonely?  Sometimes.  I mostly chalk it up to the fact that I’m not made for this world and only the face of Jesus will ever satisfy me.  I don’t chalk it up to singleness, because even when I am married, I will get lonely.  So overall, life as a single person seems much safer and easier than life as a married person.

If I remain single, no one can hurt me, no one can leave me, and no one can get in the way of the big things in store for my life.  EXCEPT FOR ME.  #OhDang.  Yup.  There it is.  If I continue to avoid vulnerability and deep relationship with people, I will continue to get in my own way.  I will still get hurt and people will still leave, because we are not made for superficial relationships.  Either way, I will get hurt, so I should find abundant life in the midst of that hurt.  Singleness is not the answer, but neither is marriage.  As cliche as it may sound ,Jesus IS the answer–and the healing that He brings.

Now, I know there are benefits to marriage, as there are to singleness.  Please do not use the words in this blog as an excuse to fix me and correct my dysfunction.  I am so aware of my own dysfunction.  I believe if God has called me to marriage ( and I do), then it must be good and beneficial, and it must bring abundant life.  So why did I share it if I didn’t want the super Christians of the world to fix me?  Because the scriptures say, “Confess your sins, pray for one another, and YOU WILL FIND HEALING.”   I want to find healing, so please pray for me.  I also believe that others out there struggle with the same things I do, and maybe, just maybe, my confession of brokenness, will help someone else to find healing in their own struggle.

So now let’s put the spotlight on you.

Singles: Are you just as afraid of the dark as I am?  Are you praying that Prince Charming will come, or hiding from him like Mercy Jean hides from me at nap time?

Marrieds: How did you feel about marriage before you were in one?  What has been the biggest blessing in your marriage?  How long have you been married, and how have you kept your marriage together?

When I do something silly, or ridiculous, I tweet about it and use the hashtag #ThisIsWhyImStillSingleDotCom. I would love to see your moments as well so hashtag away!

And Go…

This Is Why I’m Still Single.com: She Will Be Loved

In my last post, I started answering the question, “Why are you still single?”  This is one of the most frequently asked questions I get, so I thought we should discuss it.

Often times, I think because I’m single people assume I must be lonely. That I’m just waiting for my Prince Charming to come, or that I’m actually out looking for him.  That it must be hard for me to enjoy life alone.  I mean, life alone is pretty terrible.  I think the misconception here is that I’m alone.

A couple of months ago, I wrote a post about my college friends.  I mentioned that they had ruined my dating life.  Here is how they did it.  They taught me how to live in community, and spoke value over me, and I was able to watch the  guys pursue a girl.  When I left for college, I had little self-esteem or value.  I had no idea what my gifts were, and what my calling in life might be.  Community changed these things.  It’s hard to be lonely when people are calling out life in you.

The men from that group of friends have loved me, honored me, and fought for me the way that godly men fight for their sisters.  They weren’t and still aren’t, even as married men, afraid to speak to my beauty.  If they think I look good, they tell me.  Obviously in a way that is respectful, and honoring to their wives. For instance, “hey you, you clean up well.” translates in brother language to “you look nice today”.  When I wasn’t sure of my talents, they called them out.  They fought for me to have a platform when I wasn’t allowed one.  They prayed over me more times than I could count.  They really showed me how I should be honored by a guy.

Part of the reason they could treat me this way is because they made it clear when they were pursuing a girl.  I was never worried that there were hidden feelings behind their actions.  There was room for honesty.  I was able to see them honor me, and also pursue other girls, and I could see what the differences should be.

Since college, more friends have come into my life to be my community, and more men have come to honor me.  God has used them to take great care of me, which speaks volumes to what God believes about my value.  So what does this all add up to?  Now I have terribly high standards.  I don’t date to find value, or date for attention, because I live in community.  Now, I only date because I’m interested in the person I’m dating.  I also expect to be honored.  Only men who know the Lord know how to honor others.  I also now know my value and know that I’m worthy of pursuit, and I have a pretty good idea of what that pursuit should look like.  I have been loved well.  If a man is going to date me, he better have his A-game on, to say the least.

My standards are high.  Not impossible.  Just the kind of guy I’m looking for is few and far between.  This is one reason WhyI’mStillSingle.com.

So now it’s your turn.  What are your standards?  Why are your standards the way they are?  Have any advice for me?