This Is Why I’m Still The Stakes Are High

Finally, we have arrived at the pinnacle of everyone’s favorite question to ask: “Why are you still single?”  This is the very last and most important reason…at least in my opinion.

It’s no secret.  I have every intention of changing the world.  I know without a doubt that I will fiercely bring heaven to earth, and do it loudly and (hopefully) as gently as Jesus did.  For the last ten years of my life, this has been the goal, the path that I have followed.  So what does this have to do with dating?

It turns out that it’s pretty difficult to find a guy who is not intimidated by me and who wants to bring change to this broken world as badly as I do.  If this sounds arrogant, I don’t mean for it to.  It’s just what has seemed to be true.  The life that I have chosen costs a lot.  It costs you everything, all for the sake of bringing glory to God and knowing Jesus more.  Most “really nice Christian boys” don’t want to pay the price, and therefore are heading in a different direction than me.

I’ve thought about dating really dreamy boys who aren’t quite “there” yet.  I’ve been told they will grow into it; just give them a chance.  BUT WHAT IF THEY DON’T?  There is too much at risk in the kingdom for me to slow down and wait for that really nice (and dreamy) Christian guy to grow into his calling.  Maybe he will.  I pray he does.  But the stakes are too high for me to take a chance on that guy.  I know that whoever I marry must be choosing Jesus above everything else.  The world is broken and in need of great healing.  We can settle for nothing less then bringing everything we have to the table. This includes my marital status.  If my call is to help my husband, fulfill his vision and calling, he better have a vision to radically change the world, or I won’t be able to get behind his vision.

Honestly, because of the road I’ve chosen, I never thought I would get married.  Then, one day, God pointed this verse out to me.

Then one of the young men said, “Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite who is a skillful musician, a mighty man of valor, a warrior, one prudent in speech, and a handsome man; and the Lord is with him.” – 1st Samuel 16:18

The Lord spoke to me about this being the kind of man that I would marry.  Out of nowhere.  This is a thought that would have never crossed my mind, and that’s why I know it was the Lord.  I don’t know if “the guy” will be musical, and I can only hope that he is a handsome man, but I do know that David was the kind of guy that faced a giant as a teenager.  He believed so much in the true character of God that he was willing to go anywhere and face anything.

I really appreciate that David faced giants, because any guy who chooses to pursue me is facing a giant.  I really am kind of intimidating.  So much so that it is a joke between close friends.  They know they don’t have to worry about me ending up with someone boring, because the boring ones have  been scared away within minutes of meeting me.  (Again, I don’t want this to sound arrogant.  I just mean that I’m loud, opinionated, pretty fearless, and I have a kind of an intimidating Job.  I mean come on…my anthem is “Roar” by Katy Perry.  It was even before the song existed.)  More importantly than facing me, though, my future husband must be willing to face the unknown.  Someone with David-like qualities, who is willing to trust God in any situation and follow His call anywhere because God made us to restore His kingdom. T hat’s a train I could get on.  It’s the kind of grand vision I could get behind.

So…ThisIsWhyI’  I have kingdom things to do.  Until I find someone I can do them with, I will spend all my extra time doing adventurous, scary, unknown, kingdom things with my beautiful friends and community.

Did I miss anything in this series of posts?  Have more questions about my singleness?  Comments?  Concerns?  Chime in! That’s what community is all about!


  1. Nicole Wilbur · October 17, 2013

    Oh Mindy, I just love you! These posts have given me so much joy and I’m so proud of you. I am grateful to call you sister and I’m incredibly encouraged by your example. Press on!


    • Mindy Stewart · October 17, 2013

      Nicole! I feel the exact same way about you!!! You’ve been such a blessing to me and I’m so thankful to have you on this journey with me!!


  2. Symanntha Renn · October 17, 2013

    Don’t compromise! You’ll just end up regretting it. God has plans for you so just follow him and all things will come in good time.


  3. Maressa Chavez · October 17, 2013

    Wow!! This is my first time reading your blog and I definitely am asking myself, “why have I not started reading this before!?”
    You just spoke straight to my heart and spirit. I am incredibly inspired by the revelation God gave to you and the verse He pointed out to you. I’m in the very same boat as you as far as being single and not settling for less than what you need and what God has for you. I barely know you but I’m so very proud of you and happy to get to know you! Thank you very much for your encouragement! God bless you, Mindy!


    • Mindy Stewart · October 17, 2013

      Thanks Maressa!!! I really appreciate your encouragement!!! You are already a blessing to me!


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